Sharing some gratitude

As we (well, really, Mom) move past the physical side effects of the cancer treatments, we are left with some unexpected side effects – the ones that don’t show up physically.  The ones that haven’t really been talked about, written about, or even acknowledged.  One of those, for me, is the changed meaning of “stepping up.”

Over the last few months, I have been thinking a lot about how and when people “show up” or “step up” and how I would want to do it for others.  There have been so many examples to learn from among our friends and family, and an occasional stranger.   In some ways, the outpouring of support has been the most overwhelming part of this whole cancer business.   I have learned that support comes in many, many forms and sometimes from an unexpected source.  I have learned that it is ok to ask what someone needs or wants.  I have learned that some of the best support comes when the “rush” is over, the cancer starts to feel normal, and someone asks “how are you?” and waits for the answer.  I have always said that lasagnas are love, but I have learned that so too are tacos, chicken pot pie, pots of chili, homemade meatballs, soups, casseroles, cookies, and just about anything that you don’t have to make yourself.  I have learned that the caregivers need support in addition to the patient, including being reminded to take care of themselves.  With friends and family scattered around the world, support also showed up in the mail and in boxes on the front steps in the form of flowers, movies, cards, and thoughtful gifts.  We were spoiled with pictures and videos of cute children (and hope that these continue).  And once, from a kind neighbor who is also a breast cancer survivor, it showed up in the form of a bag of rolls hanging from the door knob.  As Mom was able to get out and about, support came in the form of visits to Noodles and Company, double dates, and afternoon teas.

I have learned that people show support in their own ways and that all of it is welcome.  So, when it is my turn, I know to do it in my own way.  That there is no wrong way. This is one of the many lessons that we will carry forward.  And until we have the chance to pay it forward, we want to thank you all for showing up and stepping up in so many ways.  Thank you for continuing to read for updates.  While updates may be less frequent, we will update when there is information to share.  We have felt your support and appreciated it. All your small gestures helped move us along on hard days.  It has been overwhelming and humbling. 

“I only show up when I think I can be of service and that service can be valued”

(my dear friend, Oprah Winfrey)